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20060423




The feeling sucks. I've been super moody + snappy + everything. Probably at the thought of me never being able to sing again.
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Btw to people. I'm sorry I snapped at me! and I know it wasnt right so dont need defend me. And people. Its not that I cannot accept that I'm out. Thats past my mind for ages lerh. Nvm. Other people's views dont matter anymore. I just want my life and my voice back. It hurts like mad. Physically and mentally. My throat feels as if there are a thousand needles pricking it. It hurts all the way up to my nose. The whole nasal passage feels like its swollen again, pretty badly this time. Think its gonna lead to a high fever soon again. Yeah its infected again for the N-th time in dunno how many weeks. Going to the doctor again tomorrow. Maybe this time'll really get a referal letter to the hospital. Just as well. Check it once and for all. May it just be a growth and just be cutted off please. May my voice be retained in its normal condition please. Dont let me sound like a duck! Ohmygosh. And if really there is to be a throat operation what if the doctor kayu n make me mute!! I'm thinking too much I know. I really become moody and anything can be a spark to trigger my snappiness. Help me. When can I regain my former self of laughing out loudly, ka-jiaoing my poor friends, speaking nonsensically as I used to, singing now and then whenever I feel like. Now I cant even talk without feeling the pain slitting my throat. Okay I may be overexaggerating. But this sucks. Try telling someone who loves to sing to stop singing. Even for a week, its tough. Shoot actually I could have started singing on 10th april. Now I doubt so. It'll probably extend another month. Ohmygosh I keep revolving around the same topic. But thats really whats on my mind now. And everything that hasnt been going on nicely. Like stuffs screw up pretty easily. Sigh.
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Btw we went Superband which is super cool as usual. Qing bu zi jing-ily shouting for mantou despite my 'cnt sing throat'. Then we lagged behind and took pictures hehheh. That was cute. Then afterwards we went to fisherman's to celebrate simings bday. thats probably the origin of my infection. but i loved it last night. Things shot back to the past, we were normal people playing MAFIA and eating and laughing. I just didnt care about my voice and played and laughed and sang. I was a very good murderer yesterday!!! Kelly-jie totally vouched that the murderer couldnt be me or sheena [i was smiling inside]. Angela said 'hmm lets kill sheena' instead of me, even sheena couldnt see that i was the murderer! Success! Poeple I finally learn how to act lerh heh! Then the thief had to go change my hard earned post away and I became the detective. So ironic! Then when i became the detective people suspected me. even sheena thought it was me -.-"" lucky they killed someone else. But i was a good murderer larh nontheless! Even jiayu-ge said so. BEAMS. Funfun!! I wan play summore. People must play MAFIA before then you'll know what talking me. But woah there goes my voice. I woke feeling like crap with a super bad throat, went to church. [feeling sleepy and super guilty] then went LWSSOM. Okay we said to rush home after class to slp den do hw. but we ended up going out. suprisingly, with that bad throat of mine, i managed to stuff 4 plates of sushi in my tummy, enjoying the process. then we even went to haagen daz to eat fondue and i happily, dumbily, and no brainily stuffed whooping nice melted chocolate, ice cream balls, strawberries, cakes, cookies etc into my tummy. Past my red, needle pricked and sad throat. I salute myself! Man I can eat! After that came the 'ohno. shit larh i shouldnt have done it' part. I whined like mad. And now. Its super pain that I cant even talk. SIGH I BROUGHT THIS UPON MYSELF. SIGH SIGH. May it heal soon. I wanna sing i wanna sing i wanna sing!!!!!
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I shall endure for another month, before it becomes a lifetime of no singing.
Happy birthday to you Siming!! Happy TWENTIETH birthday! No more teen. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! HURHUR!! Naps then hw + comp, Actually its comp + hw =P
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God please bless my throat. Please heal it or rid me of the pain.
さあ、うたう。
7:38 PM